Author: dearashsite

Year In Review..

Happy New Year!!! Sooo.. we’ve made it another year around the sun. This was one of the most frustrating years yet to say the least but so much gratitude at the same time. I definitely left 2020 more thankful. Thankful to have beat Covid, thankful that my family is still healthy. Thankful for all the new additions and thankful that no matter what the enemy threw at me, God made sure I saw the victory. 2020 was my year of “ Transformation “. When I write my year and reviews and reflect on the past year I see just how much my word actually came to pass. We had to transform as a nation in a world wide pandemic. The way we did things, the way we acted and the way we thought. 2020 tested my faith and I’m sure so many others. For me personally I didn’t know I would enter into a season where I almost became comfortable with out God. Where depression would hit. ( you can read more about this in a previous blog post) It’s crazy though, well no not really actually because nothing is really crazy when it comes to God right but he already knew everything that would happen this year and he knew I would eventually come home where I belonged. It took some deep digging and some transformation of my heart to realize that God was there through everything. He never left my side. I just stopped seeking him. I learned that, that was something I never want to do again. God showed me so much in 2020. He showed me that I am loved by him and his love will never run empty. It only gets sweeter and sweeter. This year I started a new job and through this job I’ve been able to see more and more of God’s grace and mercy and the transformation I was meant to make. I’ve grown so much and stepped outside of my comfort zone and I’ve done things I only thought about doing but never actually did. I decided to be more intentional. Through everything that has happened this year, God has shown me that he will not strengthen me for a battle he didn’t call me to fight. See the weapon was formed but it definitely didn’t prosper!! Can I get a AMEN! LOL. The enemy thought he had me BUT GOD showed me that HE NEVER FAILS and he only knows how to TRIUMPH. With 2020 ending I feel God saying go into 2021 expecting! So the word of the year is “ EXPECTANT “ . I know God is going to continue to refine me and move in mighty ways. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I’m going to grow so much this year. In my finances, in ministry, and in my spiritual and personal life. I’m EXPECTANT of all these things. God is saying even with the minor setbacks to start again. Start praying again, start EXPECTING again. I’m so excited to enter into this new season and leave the old behind.

I was going to write about some of my goals for this year but I chose not too. It leaves room for another post!! Yay!! I say every year I want to post more and this year I’m expecting to put more content out!! I hope you will pray that with me!

As you enter 2021 remember this, you’re loved! You’re worthy, you’re fearfully and wonderfully made and God is so proud of you!! Go into YOUR year and crush your goals!! All things are possible with Christ. (Phil. 4:13)

I would love to know what you learned in 2020 and if you have a word for the new year! Comment below!

Until next time! 💫

Be Kind To Yourself…

I know too many times we can be way to hard on ourselves. I can literally be my own worst critic most of the time. Let me ask you this question. Do you believe you’re Gods handiwork and that you’re fearfully and wonderfully made? That’s the question of the week and I have to be honest with you and myself. I didn’t always believe that. There were times and honestly there still are when I look in the mirror and say why did you make me this way God? Why did you give me this and not that? Why don’t I have these talents and these abilities instead? Comparison gets the better of us and we start to believe what the enemy wants us to believe. I’m challenging myself to list some characteristics and attributes about myself that I am grateful for.

One characteristic I admire most about myself Is my giving heart. I’m loving and generous and always wanting to help others when I can. I’m kind and sensitive. This can be a good and a bad thing to most but today I’m choosing to look at it as a good thing. I’m strong, capable, resilient in fact. God reassures me in every victory that he won’t give me more than I can handle.

I cherish the values that I have. I know what I deserve and I won’t settle for anything less then Gods best. I’ve been through so much and Its made me make choices to do things intentionally with my life. It’s not always easy saying good things about ourselves but we have to stop and ask ourselves what lies might we be believing right now that’s preventing us from entering into the fullness of life that Jesus has for us. Gods word is the weapon we use against the enemy to expose his lies and when he’s trying to deceive us. When you believe it, it changes what you say. We need to start talking about ourselves the way the Bible talks about us. I remember after watching the movie “ overcomer “ I read the book of Ephesians, the first 2 chapters and I wrote down everything it said I was as a believer in Christ. I am blessed, I am chosen, I am holy and I have a purpose and it said so much more. After reading that question and then writhing this blog, I’m making a vow to stop my negative speaking over my life. I sometimes forget that there’s power in the tongue, that it brings life and death. Do you ever realize that you’re speaking death over yourself? I’m choosing to use my mouth as a weapon to destroy the lies of the enemy that he has spoken over me. I’m choosing to believe what God says about me instead. I know it’s not always easy but I’m challenging you to make a list of characteristics abtributes about yourself that you are most grateful for. I’m challenging you to read Ephesians chapter one and two and write down everything that God says you are in him. Speak these truths over your life every day and remember that YOU ARE fearfully and wonderfully made. He took his time on you. You are who he called you to be. You’re his masterpiece. You are royalty, your father is king 🤍

Until next time 💫

He’s Always Been..

I had to have a heart check with myself the other night. A friend of mine once said these are very necessary to have and I couldn’t agree more especially during this season. So honest moment here, covid has been one of the biggest challenges for me. Quarantine wasn’t too kind to me or my mental health. All I got out of it was a big helping of depression, the feeling of emptiness, questioning my worth and if I was enough. Did this happen to anyone else? My faith was tested and I stopped praying and honestly I felt like God wasn’t even there. I went back to places I didn’t think I could go. I let the enemy attack my mind, my body and my spirit. It took me awhile but I had to realized that during all of this that if I just wanted God he was there all along. He never left my side even when I walked away. Let’s face it, he’s always been. I can say that I want peace, that I want change but I have to REALLY want it. That’s the difference. See God wants victory for us, peace, restoration in our minds, body and our spirit. The question is, do you? I think a lot of times we feel we’re so unclean why would God even want us but he’ll always make us new, new in him. I felt all of that and it hit me really hard. In that moment I started to cry and I had to really ask myself, do I really want to be free from where I am stuck because who the son sets free is free indeed. I wanted God, I needed God more than anything. Let’s be honest, I can’t do it on my own. I tried and I have failed plenty of times. I needed to remember all that God says I am and not who the enemy tries to convince me I am. The enemy will always come to deceive. Truth will always destroy deception though. The enemy is done taking up space where he doesn’t belong. I needed a reminder that I can always come home to the fathers arms and If this is you as well and you’re dealing with this, remember this.. it’s okay! Know that God has always been our healer, redeemer again and again. Everything we’ve needed, he’s always been🙌🏽

So let the light in, keep it shining, Let it break into the darkness. All the love dares us to see that we’ll all be free✨

I know it’s been along time since I wrote anything for this blog and honestly I almost gave up on the idea of one. I almost forgot how therapeutic and beneficial this could be. God reminded how good this could be to get things out and to share my trials and victories so that others would know that they’re not alone and could be brave and share their stories as well.

YOUR STORY MATTERS 🤎

Until next time, Ash✨

Year In Review …

It’s 2020!! I can’t believe how fast 2019 came and went! Heck I can’t believe how fast the decade went by! Crazy to think we just entered a whole new DECADE. If you know me then you know I would’ve preferred to have this post up the last day of 2019 BUT your girl is always late. I hope this changes in 2020!

Sooooo 2019! The year of “ Growth “ if you recall last years post. Haha I get to say last year now. I’m also probably the only one that found that funny too. Anyways.. I did indeed do a lot of growing in 2019. I stepped out of my comfort zone and said yes to things I said I wanted to do and but never really did. I was saying yes to God and surrendering all so that he could heal and restore me. Exposing things that still hurt me wasn’t easy but it was the only way to deal with them and to fully heal. I wrote more than I thought I would on here which was still not nearly as much as I wanted but hey I’ll take it!

I said yes to ministry and walking in purpose. I said yes to my life being impacted in ways it needed too and I was able to help and impact other peoples lives in the process. I said yes to leadership. In 2019 God showed me that I am capable and stronger then I thought possible. He showed me who I was in him, that I’m loved, worthy and brave. He showed me that no matter what I do he’s with me and he’s for me.

Going in 2020 I’m so excited. I’ve learn over time to pray for the word of the year. Something that sets the tone. I know that if it comes from God is comes with a promise, it comes with purpose. This year I prayed and God told me this was really going to be a year of TRANSFORMATION. It’s a big word and It’s also a scary word because anything can happen. If you know me you know I’m a scared person. I fear change and stepping out of my comfort zone. 2019 taught me that sometimes you have to do things scared. So although I might be scared/nervous I’m ready for the season God is sending me in. He’s always had my back. I’m readying to transform and blossom Into all that he’s called me to be.

I have some goals I’m ready to accomplish. I’m ready to transform into my best health. I always set weight loss goals but I’m ready to be more discipline and reach them.

I’m ready to transform Into the leader God called me to be.

I’m ready to step out of comfort zone. I’m ready to leave the routine.

I know God has a lot in store me this year and all though I might not know every single detail yet I know it’s for purpose. I know I’ll face trials that will hurt but will eventually propel me towards the transformation he has for me. I’m going into 2020 seeking him more and more. Seeking his perfect will. I’m going into this year more obedient then the last. I’m ready to grow in all areas of my life. I’m ready for the BLOOM🌸

I’m ready to take you all on this process with me. I hope you’ll join me for the chapters on this year.

What did 2019 teach you? Do you have a word or some goals for 2020? What topics do you think I should discuss? Comment below!!♥️

Until next time…💫

Come Home..

Here I am again. It’s been awhile. I always say I’ll be consistent and then I’m not! Life just gets in the way and I talked myself out of what I want to post. I become disobedient to God by not doing what he has asked of me. This topic is a big one for me because I have to be completely real and vulnerable. I’m opening myself up to judgement. Tonight (10/25/19) God told me, write the blog. You’ve been sitting on this far too long. It isn’t about me, it’s about him! Wow, wow, wow!! So here we go!

This is about how God will always welcome you back home with open arms. Almost two months ago I finished these classes called freedom at my church. They were about breaking free from the strongholds in your life. A lot of things came up during that class that I thought I was over but I wasn’t. God wanted to heal me but the enemy wanted to use it against me.

I finished the classes but I finished thinking I couldn’t do what God called me to do knowing I was still dealing with certain issues in my life. I felt that I wasn’t qualified anymore. That God needed to use someone else.

I felt the enemy really attacking me. I stopped going to church and serving, partly because of work but on the days I was able to go to church I wouldn’t. I’d watch online but wouldn’t really be paying attention. I stopped caring about these free bible classes a friend was offering me! I stopped reading my word and I hardly ever prayed anymore. Prayer became a big part of my life, I did it every day on my way to work. That 15 min drive was time between God and I, so to not have that time anymore really played a role in my life.

I started listening to who the devil said I was and forgetting who God says I AM. I was letting the lies and the insecurities define me.

I had went and saw the movie overcomer with two of my friends and that movie is all about Identity. Who you think you are VS who God says you are. It really moved me and got me thinking about my life. Later that week I went to the bridge young adult September rally. ( shoutout to the way world outreach!!) During worship I really felt God. I heard him tell me “ Come home “. I instantly started crying because it’s what I needed to hear. “ Come home, I still love you. “. That night I had to just stop and surrender to God again. I had to let the devil know he couldn’t have me and just when he thought he did, God brought me back to life.

That night I went home and I opened up my bible to Ephesians 1 just like Hannah did in the movie. I wrote down everything God said I was. I needed to write it and speak it over myself. I wasn’t who the enemy said I was, I had to let him know, I was Gods child. I was chosen.

I went and saw that movie once more with some of my other friends and it had so much meaning this time!

The enemy will always come to attack. To kill steal and destroy but just like the movie said. “When you find your Identity in the one who created you, your whole perspective changes! “

I didn’t want to write this post at first because sometimes as a leader you think you have to have it all together. That’s not true, The Bible says we all have sinned and we all fall short.

God already knows everything though and he knew this moment would happen and he knew I would come back.

I was reminded that the Bible also says in Romans 11:29 “ For Gods gifts and his call can never be withdrawn “

It didn’t matter that I stepped away for a moment the call and purpose on my life was still the same. It couldn’t be taken away. I was still qualified to do all the work God called me to do.

I’m here to encourage you that no matter what happens in your walk, God will always welcome us home with open arms. He is a good good father. This walk isn’t always easy but we must pick up our cross daily and deny our flesh .

Guilt, shame, condemnation does not come from God. It comes from the enemy. He will make you feel all these things to keep you bound, so you won’t call on a sister or brother for help. Remember, God loves all the time. He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

I write things about my life in hopes that it will reach someone going through the same things who needs help. God doesn’t want us to be stuck in torment but to feel his peace and love. His mercies are made new everyday. So if that’s you, you’re stuck it’s okay, let him pull on your heart strings and come home to the father who has never left your side!

I love you and so does Jesus♥️

Until next time 💫✨

Camp 33!!

I just got back home from amazing weekend adventure and my life and my perspective have been changed.

I’m about to take you on a journey so you can understand what camp 33 is and why I fell completely in love with it.

The best way to describe camp 33 is love. Honestly that’s what is it, a weekended of being loved for who you already are. Camp 33 is a FREE yes you read correctly a free spiritual retreat weekend for young adults. It’s a place where you will be loved and heard and and most importantly where you will learn about the love of Jesus.

I first heard about camp 33 through a lovely couple name Rob and Colleen. It’s no coincidence that one day they stumbled into my job and I was the one that cut Rob’s hair. I truly believed we were placed on each other’s path for a reason. Rob and Colleen and a bunch of their friends are rave moms and dads. So cool huh? Anywho, God has placed it on there hearts to go out to these raves and serve Gods people by fulfilling needs they have.

I went to camp 33 with two my friends for my birthday weekend. I wanted to spend my 26th birthday out in Gods creation chasing after him. Some might call that lame but I call it fulfilling. It was just what my soul needed.

It started Friday evening up in running springs at Rob and Colleen’s place. We met everybody and right from the start I could feel the love. These people were genuinely excited to meet us! We talked, we laughed we got to know each other. We had dinner which was amazing by the way!! These moms know how to get down in the kitchen! We received these beautiful bibles with our names engraved and had a devotional about love around the fireplace. How ironic right, about love haha!

Saturday morning is where everything started. We had an amazing breakfast and we met new people who we didn’t see the night before. Again, we laughed and got to know each other. When I tell you I laughed all weekend I truly did! So, our journey first started by getting in the jeeps and heading to Keller peak fire look out! Wow talk about a beautiful view! We did another devotional there just taking in all that God created. If you go to raves you probably know about PLUR. Each devotional had something to do with that. Peace, Love, Unity and Respect. I feel as if I don’t want to give to much away because I want you to sign up and experience it for yourself! We boat, we moff road, bond and develop friendships that can last a lifetime.

I will tell you though that my favorite part was the unity trail. We worked together as a team and no one pushed or bossed each other around. We laughed and enjoyed each other’s help. I learned that I’m not meant to do life alone. God gives us guidance but he also gives us brothers and sister to come into unity with.

Camp 33 reminded me I am not alone on my walk with Christ. I don’t have to have it all together because I am a Christian. God loves me right where I’m at. Sins and all.

God definitely met me right where I was at, at church on Sunday morning. We all met for church right there in the desert surrounded by Gods creation. We went over Romans 12 and that whole chapter just kinda hit me honestly. I was reminded that yes I am a Christian and I’m all in for Christ but is the way I love some people reflecting that? With certain people who have hurt me it’s hard to still love them and want to bless them sometimes. I was reminded of my dad, I feel as if I forgave him but I’m still not acting in love towards him at times. I saw these amazing men of God that were amazing fathers and thought why didn’t I have that? God reminded me that all I felt I lacked in a father he was. He was there through everything and he reminded me I have amazing men around me I can go to as well.

To all the camp dads, thank you! Thank you for reminding me I am special, I am worthy. I am not alone. You guys made me feel safe like a daughter should. Thank you for caring for all of us.

To all the camp moms, thank you! Without you guys behind the scenes a lot of this would not have been possible. Your hearts for us and for Jesus was displayed so much it has truly inspired me.

Thank you both moms and dads for the open and transparent talks. They mean so much!

To my fellow young adults, I love you all! Thank you for the talks, the laughs and memories I’ll never forget.

Camp 33 is something I think everyone should experience. The love of Jesus is taught but not forced on you and I love that! As Christians it’s important how we display Christ. They simply want to show you what life with Christ is like and it’s up to you to decide. At the end of this IF I wasn’t already a Christian I would’ve gave my life to Christ in a heartbeat to experience such peace, love and joy like they had!

Camp 33 was an experience I’ll never forget and I’ll cherish the memories for a life time. I’ll go on to share the gospel and to share about camp 33 as well. If you have questions about God, or you’re struggling in your faith I recommend camp 33! It encouraged me in so many ways that if I typed them all you’d be reading forever! I will add their Instagram and there website below!! Give them a chance to share God’s love with you as well!!

IG : @camp.33

https://camp33.org

Until next time … 💫

Deciding to walk with BOLD faith …

I’m a little late in getting this out there but last week I attended the young adult service at my church and the topic was bold faith.

What does bold mean? Bold : of a person, action, or idea) showing an ability to take risks; confident and courageous. To me it’s being brave and unapologetic.

I’m not ashamed of the gospel and I chose to openly share it! How else will people know the goodness of God?

It’s the little things that gets me excited in life. one is being able to share the love of God.

Here’s a story that happened and I wrote about but never put out there .

A few days ago I had the chance to minster to someone who had said they didn’t believe in God. Sometimes it’s difficult to be obedient to God when he tells me to talk to people who don’t believe. I always wonder how are they going to take what I am telling them. Are they going to be mad and say something or listen and be expecting of what I have to say.

I ended up cutting this young mans hair at work and I noticed he had a stutter. I talk with all my guest because it’s my job and honestly I just love talking and getting to know new people. A part of me felt bad for asking him things because I could tell he struggled with his stutter a lot. I told him, it’s okay I stutter too and I know how frustrating it can be. He was instantly relieved to have someone that related to him in that moment. His sister was there with him as and we all talked while I did his hair. She expressed that her brother wanted to become a doctor but he didn’t think he was equipped or qualified to do so because of his speech in pediment. I was instantly a little sad and heartbroken for him because I honestly used to be that person that thought that exact same thing about myself and the things I wanted to do in life.

Something came over me and the next thing that came out of my mouth was do you guys believe in God? The sister tells me that she does but that her little brother doesn’t. She believes it’s because of his stutter, saying why would God give him that.

Usually right there in that moment I would’ve stopped talking about God because it’s easy to just let them keep believe what they choose to believe instead of me feeling rejected if they don’t except what I have to say. Oh boy God had other plans for me and I had no choice but to be obedient in that moment. God told me to tell him the story of Moses because I related to that story so much for myself. I told the young man well I’m going to tell you a story and it’s from the Bible so I proceed to tell him the story of Moses and how Moses struggled with his speech and excepting that God called him to do all these amazing things. I told him how Moses told the lord, I am not the one for the job but the lord said he was. I told him it’s so easy to disqualify ourselves of the things that we want in life the things God has for us because the enemy plants something in our heads. I had to let him know that God wouldn’t give him that desire to be a doctor to help and save people if he didn’t already know he was qualified for the job.

Our weaknesses don’t disqualify us. They actually qualify us even more, because they are the portals through which God’s power permeates our life. His grace is all we need. His power works best in weakness.

I could tell I helped him in this moment. I invited him to my church just to check it out. I did my part and I planted the seed. Crazy part about this is I actually got talked to about for doing this. My co worker said she got where I was coming from but I can’t invite people to church. I apologized but I also said it might not have been the right place but I’ll never apologize for sharing the gospel. You know the Bible says if we deny him before man he will also deny us before the father. I’m not ashamed and neither should anyone be!

Reminiscing on the story and being at the young adult meet up just reminded me that I have to be bold when sharing my faith! I mean how else do I expect to reach people? I have be bold in my my character and my actions. I need to reflect the grace, mercy and love of Jesus.

I hope this touched someone and made you realize that you want to keep being bold as well. Never apologize for believing what you believe never apologizing for having a voice of God, never apologize for being bold and unashamed of the gospel!

Fear You Don’t Own Me..

One week into the new year and wow, it’s already so good! I’m already growing. So I said I would take you on the chapters of my life and with that.. welcome to chapter one!!

Overcoming fear.

I don’t know about you but I am so guilty of letting fear control my life and my actions. I think I’m more afraid that I’m not equip to do something and I’ll get the feeling of being uncomfortable and I don’t like that feeling.

So, if you know me personally you might know I went through these discipleship classes at my church. Starting at The Way, Life at The Way and Purpose at The Way. It’s basically teaching you the most foundational parts of the Bible. I received so much growth taking these classes and my walk with God only got stronger.

Recently one my growth coach’s from these classes contacted me about becoming a coach myself. I was so set on taking freedom at The Way first though and she said if I felt I needed to do that then I should.

A growth coach is just someone that holds you accountable for doing homework. They go over everything with you and they’re there to support and encourage you. I think the main reason I didn’t feel equip was because what if someone were to ask me something and I’m not knowledgeable about that area yet? I would feel kinda dumb honestly and not useful.

So this past Sunday there was a meeting and I wasn’t going to go. I was about to be disobedience to God because of my own fear and insecurities. I cried and even got prayer and then a friend told me, God wouldn’t have called me if I wasn’t ready for it. She also reminded me to check my pride. I thought “ I “wasn’t equip but God is. If God says I am then I should lean not on my own understanding but his. It wasn’t about me it was about God, glorifying him.

I knew I had to be obedient and I was. I went to that meeting. Last night was the first night of the classes and I got my group of girls and honestly I couldn’t have gotten a better group. God really did give me the words to say and when to say them.

I even step further out of my comfort zone and prayed for a girl individually, usually I’ll say that I’ll pray for you at home because I feel like I’m not a prayer warrior. None of that mattered to God. He told me to do it and I listened to him and he gave me all the right words to say. He let me impact this girl and change the way she thought.

My word for 2019 was growth and it’s already coming to pass! I need to remember with growth come uncomfortableness. I’m not always going to want to do things that require change but I have to. I’m choosing to walk in obedience and boldness.

Fear is of the enemy and I won’t let it take hold of me anymore!! I have to remember, fear can stop me from going places. It can hinder my growth. My fears don’t know my strength and the they don’t know the God I know!

So… as The breakup song says

“ Fear you don’t own me, there ain’t no room in this story and I ain’t got time for you telling me what I’m not like you know me well guess what? I know who I am. I know I’m strong and I am free. I got my own identity, So fear, you will never be welcome here! “

I’m choosing to face everything and rise.

Is there anybody out there like me, needing fear to leave?

How are you overcoming it? Comment below! I would love to know and pray for you!

Until next time 💫

Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019!

As 2018 comes to an end, I’m actually ready for it to be over! I’m ready for new adventure but first about this year… I’m sad to say I am a little disappointed in myself for the goals that I set and did not achieve. I’m sad I failed with this blog. Well maybe not completely failed but I didn’t put out as much content out as I wanted. I only have myself to blame and honestly I just lacked inspiration. I fell in a funk and just didn’t dig myself out of it. I had plenty of topics but absolutely no drive.

2018 had a lot of not so great moments but also a lot of amazing ones as well.

I had to deal with a loss and pain and honestly with that pain came so much growth. Uncomfortable growth but growth non the less. I learned isolation only leads to depression. It’s a way for the enemy to come in and attack . I learned about greif and healthy ways to deal with it. I learned to express myself more and not keep so much in. I learned its okay to share your story. I made new friends and got close to people I didn’t think I would be close to again. Ive learned to appreciate the people in my life more.

Most importantly I learned my identity in Christ! Even though I’ve known god my whole life my relationship with him was so much more on fire this past year and It will only grow more in 2019! He’s showed me a whole new way to looking at life. To think all of this happened with one step of obedience. He tells me who I am, not the world! My favorite memory of 2018 was being baptized because not only was I able to re dedicate myself back to the Lord but I was able to show the world that I’m not ashamed that I put my faith in an amazing God and him alone.

So what am I leaving behind in 2018?

Hurt

Anger

Bitterness

Unforgivness – I choose to forgive.

Offense – not today Satan.

A lazy prayer life

2018 can keep all the things that have held me back! I don’t want it any of it! I’m only moving forward from here!

My word for 2019 is GROWTH. I love it for so many reasons. With growth comes discomfort but beautiful outcomes non the less. With growth comes healing and I’m so ready for all of it. With growth comes expanding and I want to go wherever God wants to take me. With growth comes consistency and in ready to commitment to things again and make them happen!

I’m ready for change. 2019 is the year of prayer for me. To pray like I’ve never prayed before. It’s the year of healing for me. I believe breakthrough is coming. It’s the year I’m gonna push myself like I never have before.

I feel expansion coming in all areas of my life.

There’s no perfect life and we can’t turn back time. Every page we turn is a lesson learned. I’m believing I’ll be more on fire with my blog more than ever this coming year! I hope you’ll enjoy the chapters of my life with me this year!

What are you leaving behind in 2018?

What is your word for 2019?

Happy New Year!!

Until next time 💫

Xoxo Ashley 💕

Reflection…

I’m just sitting here and I’m really just in awe. In awe of God mainly. It’s crazy how the toughest times in our life can produce so much goodness in away. Well I suppose growth would be the better word to use.

Sometimes I like to think I’m very open about my life and most people know I went through a break up not too long ago. Over 2 and half years spent together and I honestly thought I would be completely broken. Don’t get me wrong, I was torn up and I still hurt now but I’m not broken.

In this season I’ve been really able to find my identity in Christ. I’ve been able to really push more into God and form a much deeper relationship with him.

Now, I was in this relationship, completely happy but it was lacking the Godly aspect. We were unequally yoked as some would put it. I was fine with this or at least I thought I was. God revealed to me a little bit prior to the break up, “ Are you sure you want this ” I knew it instantly in my heart that I was always going to want more from him but wouldn’t get it. It wasn’t going to be fair to him If i kept trying to convince him to pursue God when it was clearly something he didn’t believe. It wasn’t fair to me either and he stated that to me.

While in this relationship, I would still go to church, bible studies and pursue God. I didn’t think I let my relationship stop me from anything with God. It did though, in little ways. I can see how I’m MORE on fire for God now than ever before. I wonder if I was holding back because I was thinking maybe God didn’t bless this?

I guess what I’m trying to say is that, when you’re really obedient to God and his word he’s going to show up like never before. I see so many things changing. I see how God is using me to reach other people. To plant seeds I didn’t think I could plant. To build relationships I didn’t think would form. Yes my heart still aches and I miss things but I’m slowly healing. God is restoring and renewing my mind daily. Sometimes I feel I’m under fire but I’m reminded to still stand. I’m learning to be obedient even if I don’t like the outcome. Even if things don’t ever get restored. I’m trusting God, I’m choosing to be obedient.

A friend of mine reminded me of a verse in the Bible.

Hebrews 5: 7 During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. 8. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered 9. and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.

She said We think Jesus life was easy, but he too, had to learn obedience. The way God helped him to become obedient to The Word was through suffering.

It reminded her of me of my situation. Although suffering hurts, through it, I can become obedient like Jesus did. And the reward will be worth it. Just as God rewarded Christ.

Like a caterpillar shedding its skin to turn into a butterfly.

Not easy. Super painful but, the result is worth it 🐛🦋

Have you had any reflections lately?